Drafts of Me

It has been a while and I am sorry for that. My writing does not serve as just a place for others to possibly find a common ground, but for me, myself to find some sort of grip on the flurry of thoughts that consume my conscious days. 

Even now, as I open a new draft on my blog, I am reminded of the drafts that have yet to be completed since June. Maybe this one won't make it any further either. 

To describe my state of mind in the last few months, the allusion of merry-go-rounds come to fruition. My point in the world is fixed and rotating at the same time. And the world is spinning at a different rate. Everything moves slow and fast at the same time. This makes trying to focus on anything bring on an overwhelming sense of nausea. Not to mention, the lights are bright and colorful and changing- causing storms to erupt in the back of my brain. The laughter and music and conversation around me becomes a muddled groan. 

My instant reaction- Close your eyes. Shut them tight and hide your head. 

It is more than being overwhelmed. It is edging on assault. Every time I am open to it, life hits a crescendo that causes me to recoil. Sick to my stomach. Then, I leave it unedited and unfinished. Now, I have these moments chronologically listed and highlighted with a label that reads 'DRAFT'. Otherwise, unidentified. Possibly to be continued. 

Right and Wrong

Today I had a random thought. (What is new?) I was thinking things that we classify as right and wrong. For the longest time, I have tried not to think of anything as right or wrong. Yet, fundamentally, I feel as if there is a distinction that must be addressed.

***As a disclaimer, I do not feel as if I have the authority to place my morals on another and declare their actions as falling into one category or another.***

There is definitely cause and there is definitely effect. Every action that is made has an effect. As we set intentions for the day, or even in a moment, our actions forward must coincide with that intention or else the desired effect will not be met. To that distinction, there is a value that is put on the actions we make. If it does not match the intention that we have set, then it is not the correct action. Likewise, if it does fall in line, then it is correct. Here, we have right and wrong. 

These values are set by ourselves. They are not meant to be judgments toward one another. They are meant to be evaluations of our actions in accordance with the standards we have set. 

Just something I was thinking about. Anyway. How are you?